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November 2011

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Hypocritical me...

Things have been so busy, I feel like I have hardly had time to sit down, much less put quill to paper.  I want to record all these things so that when I am old and grey and sitting on bench with Allye, I have something to remember all these things that happened to give me the grey hair.  Not just Uthgaar, it seems unfair to blame him.

I found out that I was a little mistaken about the sword Raenilar used to kill the Ferdahl with, not necromancy but definite sorcery.  According to Ventuul there is some type of S'kra weapon that is similar.  I want to look into it more, but I am kind of weary of it to be honest.   It doesn't change my feeling toward the Baron, he is still a hypocrite and a jerk.

Commander Traim decided to have a "Back to the Sands" party to celebrate the return of the last outcast to the desert.  It is this huge important part of Ilithi's history, and of course, it totally irritated Theren.  They felt we were celebrating the Outcast going nuts, but really it was more about the end of an era.   Allye made up these awesome invitations to hand out and we spent hours and hours handing them out in Crossing and Shard.  I got kicked out of Theren so we did not go up there.

Yeah... kicked out of Theren.   We, Uthgaar, Allye and I went up to the spars that they hold to support Zozzy and Lakus who were planning to fight.  Everyone was really nice to me until some court member of the Barons realized I was there.  He said that he heard that I called the Baron a hypocrite (from Coenard, who is a flargenspittle) and basically told me I was not welcome.  When I tried to explain VALKRI stunned and advanced on me.   I was more upset about ruining things for Marsais, I really like him and I would not purposefully cause him issues.  He and I spoke a little thru the crystal rings and I think we are okay... I hope.

We only hit resistance to the part in Shard of all places,  Diannelle was the one that seemed to take issue with it.  She called me names and such and acted as if she was horribly insulted.  Something about being a poser from Zoulren and not having class,  it means a lot coming from some one that advertised her wares on the the various corners of Shard.  She is the same person that warned my husband to not interact with me years ago when whe first came to Shard.  I do not really care to not be in her favor. 

The party was a success really.   The one shot contest was a lot of fun and the winners kill shot was with a puppy.  It was awesome.   I was hoping for something a little different I think, it seemed like a lot of the people were more interested in thumbing their noses at Theren as opposed to the real reason for the party.  Everyone was really great tho, and it was a lot of fun.  I just hope that the meaning was not lost in the midst of it.

Ironic coincidence, the night of the party was the same as the night that Valkri headed to speak with Raenilar about the return of Macja.  Apparently they feel like she should be revered as a prophet, I guess that is how they deal with mental illness in the Barony.   I got to see the meeting notes and I am so confused by the reaction.  Raenilar threw a minor fit and then basically said "Ok send her back and tell the Baron we are still buddies because it will piss off Ilithi".   I think maybe they all drink some kind of psychotic tea and have lost thier minds completely.

From my perspective, the murderous, vindictive, grudge holding king of the Outcasts, who plowed thru all the provinces and murdered the Ferdahl for a 600 year old debt has decided to be reasonable and accepting about the return of his sister.  The Baron who fought against the Outcasts and was there as an ally to Ilithi and Zoulren had no problem with marrying the Outcast princess and essentially setting her up to take over Therenegia, and, then returned her for being damaged goods. That same baron sits up there all high and mighty acting as if he is better than our Ferdahl who merely met with the Dragon Priest Emperor.   The people in Theren, who were so devoted to thier baroness, are totally okay with just shipping her back.  It all just kind of makes my head spin. 

On top of it all, the White Rose people kind of made a show of not coming to the party.  I understand them not wanting to take a side, but it also seems like they were under the impression we were thumbing our noses at Theren.  I really hope that we were able to clear that up.  They are good friends, not just to the province, but to me.  

I went to the Town Hall meeting in Crossing too.  It went okay, I admitted to saying that the Baron is a hypocrit, since there was all this chatter about it, and I explained that I was speaking for myself, not the Tower, but that the Tower has made its stance clear.  People commented about how they watch what I say and stuff but it was really pretty well recieved.  The funny thing is, if everything I say is a reflection of the Tower, Her Grace apparently thinks Allye is the greatest sister ever and that Uthgaar is adorable with cookies in his beard.  These are facts, obviously, but I am not sure they are things the cross the Ferdahl's mind. 

My hand is starting to get weak and my head is still so full, but I think this is more than enough.  I snuck into the loft here in Hara just to kind of collect myself and I just end up worrying that maybe I am a hypocrit too... ultimately my priorities are not exactly what people may expect them to be.  My family is always first, they are my first and last thoughts.  My home and duty to the Tower are second and nothing I do will change that.  I am very loyal, and I would do anything for Her Grace and Ilithi, but Allye and Uthgaar will forever be my heart.   Maybe I do it wrong, people like Valkri can accept the decisions of the Baron with out question because her first priority is serving him...